This dress seems to fit my mood, it is short, angry and makes my boobs flat: Disappointing.
There comes a time in everyones life when they watch their first 'love' fall in love with someone else...for those lucky few that remain with theirs I am happy for you. I never thought that it would be so awfully sad to see the person I was once completely in lust with declare their feelings for someone else.
Perhaps I feel slightly disappointed that it is not me. Dont get me wrong I have never thought that this person would turn around and want to be with me ever again but now all possibility is gone, that tiny thought of 'maybe' that sits at the back of a girls mind is lost.
I'm not sure I like myself currently. I feel resentment towards this persons new girl, dare I say hatred perhaps. I have never met her and I am sure that she makes this person very happy, but I am already looking for a reason to dislike her, or a reason for their relationship to fail.
It has to be said I am quite the bunny boiler... :S
I dont want to feel like this. I am utterly disgusted with myself and at the same time am wallowing in selfpity. Awful. I think I would find this news much more positive if I had someone myself but I dont so this is how it is. This is entirely a blog moaning about how unfair life is and not just about this 'first love' incident. I feel totally cheated by life at the moment and dont see why I have to hide it. So here goes:
LIFE IS SO FUCKING UNFAIR!!
There I said it. A culmination of selfpity, bad timing and general exhaustion. Yes it is selfish to whine and moan about my perfectly good life when there are others out there far worse off than me, but for once I'd like to be allowed to feel shit without worrying about what others think of me. I'm tired of it, tired of trying to be perfect and think perfect thoughts....End of rant.
(I dont even feel better for it.)
take care.
