Will sell organs for hugs,

This would be the sign I'd be holding if I were a tramp. I just want a hug.

I'm no Angel

I have a hen night coming up, the theme is angels and devils...the hen is the devil and we are her angel apparently but do you know how bloody hard it is to find a semi-slutty-but-not-too-tacky (cause thats not me) plus size angel costume...well i will tell you now it aitn easy. I am currently on the look out for wings and a halo. BAAAAAHHH. I cant be arsed. Lets hope that I find some in time so Im not just a weirdo in white. haha.
I have no idea as to why im writing about angel costumes but I am extremely bored...as you can tell.

Weightloss wise... its going well. Ive started swimming more and I now do Zumba twice a week. Its knackering but rewarding. Adios Amigos :) xx

What You Want.

There are alot of things I want for my life. I want to pass uni and find a job that makes me happy. I want a house close enough to the people I love to see them when I need to. I want my Camper Van to work and to go on holiday to the coast and soak up the sun...theres lots more I want but none of it has any point without other people to share it with. I have one person my heart tells me it would like to share these moments with...but my brain knows otherwise. He is a batchelor through and through, a player one might say, He has sworn himself that he shall never marry; I'm not unaware of his playing and his ability to swoon, infact i wish i was. I have no want for feelings towards him. The opposite perhaps. But when I hear about his latest conquests I cant help but feel crap.
My problem is maybe made worse by the fact he is a close friend, and that my other close friends cannot know about my musings because they would hurt them in their own ways.
I dont think that my guy knows the extent of the feelings I have for him...why should he. All along I have acted blas'e about our messing around, acting as if i was in controll of my feelings so not to be just another one of his girls...but sadly that is exactly what I am. I hate it.
I will always love him in a platonic fashion. He will always have my heart that way how could he not? I just wish my heart would listen to my head and get a grip. foolish heart.
Things could be alot worse though I suppose. I have an awesome family to share all the things I mentioned at the beginning of this blog with. And I will always have my beautiful beautiful friends. Things will look up. Someone else will turn up and distract my heart long enough to sever ties that shouldnt exist and I will go to the coast in my campervan and just live, laugh and love. xx

family.

So the weekend I was panicking about went ok. Better than ok actually. Everyone pulled together and it was brilliant...we felt like a fmaily again. albeit a samller one but still we were a family. :) When I tell people about band they must think im a nutter lol. Really tired after it all though.

Might I add...DONT EVER GET LEMON CHICKEN FROM WOK AND ROLL IN THE GREEN!! its vile. I was soooo looking forward to my chinese after the show so me and allan went and got one and went to chill...i tucked into it and it tasted like Lemsip EUGH!!

Not mucht to report am trying to loose weight still not much happening on the front really.

xxx

Sewing my life away...

I am going to get thin. And then when I go out people will notice me.....failing this im gunna go the complete opposite way and get MEGA fat so no one has a choice but to notice me. hahaha.

Im tired. Been making loads of flags and skirts and such for band. Its taken too long. pfffft.

Its coming up to that day of the year again, the one I hate. It was a day full of bad news and tears that I never thought I would see. Lets hope they dont make a reappearance this year and all involved can be strong. I cant believe its a year already....its a horrible thought that time has gone this quick already what with the situation being that of a time bomb. I dont want to say too much on here as its not my business to be able to talk about it so openly. Ugh really dont even like thinking about whats going to happen in the future, but its soo bloody unfair and inevitable I want to tell everyone so they can sympathise...

All I can say is live life to the max cause you never know when it is going to be taken away from you...

yeah anyway. ...I am currently trying to tidy my pigstye of a be
droom once again. I havent touched it since holiday. So here I go....cioa for now.

Live Laugh Love.