How can I say goodbye...? aye!

Bloody hell! How rough do I feel? I didnt even stay to the end!! What a night, so sad saying goodbye to all you amazing people. I feel like an impostor when I cried because youare leaving, cause i havent known you that long...but it feels like family and you will be sorely missed all of you.
I have never had to say goodbye to anyone like that before, and it was heartbreaking.
Take care you beautiful people and keep in touch. Muchos LoCo love. xx

First Show.

Would like to say how much I love everyone in LoCo you are all bloody amazing and have really given me something to smile about these last few months.
Tonight was of epic proportions. I messed up but who cares. Overall we had an alright show. Thanks to those who came and supported us. Love to Emma, Rosie, Linny, Pete and Allan who made the effort for me! :D muchos appreciated.
So heres to two good shows tomorrow. Sleep well all.
p.s. it took me near an hour to get the beehive out...im gunna beat the bastard in the end. IT SHALL BE TAMED. love. xxx

Crazy Talk.

So I went out with the girlies (the old school gang) and it hit me just how short the period in uni is. Three years seems like forever when you join, but in all honesty ive already done my 1st year and thats gone in a flash. Its scary that the girls are all in the yeaar above me. Next year is their last year!! And then they will all be moving on to the big wide world to find jobs and such. ARRRRRH! Petrified.
It was a good night, though. Full of "unrealistic" (so lin calls them) plans to do amazing things over the summer. Its odd how we dont see each other for months and the minute we get back together its like we have never been apart. We arent the closest group of people. I mean our lives arent consumed by girly sleepovers and wrecked nights out on the town but when we are together we just click.
LoCo show tomorrow. Absolutely bricking it. What if I mess up? What if they hate me? :S I hope I dont, its so many peoples last shows and I want it to be a good one for them. I will miss all the 3rd years. They are all amazing people that work so hard at what they do. One of them I will miss more than others, but he doesnt need to know that. It will be a night full of laughter and tears the night of the last show. :)
Right, ive got to get learning my lines a bit better, cant rely on the script anymore!! cioa for now. xx

I'm new to this...

Ok. So I've been looking at other peoples blogs and I really like the whole idea of blogging to vent emotions and such like.Im fed up of having a whinge at my mates and them (bless them) being kind enough to pretend they care. So I have, by some miracle, managed to set up my own blogspot (im practically computer illiterate.) I don't by any means expect anyone to read it, it's just a place for me to put down everything and anything I want that is happening with me.

So whats going on with me at the mo? Well Im a little bit scared that I'm not gunna get everything for uni done in time. I have no motivation at the moment. This worries me as I'm only in my first year, what will I be like in 2? I'm pooping my pants over LoCo (musical theatre society) I've got a major part in the current production of Zombie Prom and everyone else is so good at it all. I really stuggle to keep my head above the water and pretend I know what I'm doing. There were others that really wanted my part and probably deserved it. I never thought I would get it when I auditioned. And I worry I'm going to be a let down.

Also I am currently on a diet. This means eating bugger all that actually makes me happy and then lying to myself every week when I step on the scales telling myself "ooo, look youve lost half a pound, that good." Actually its crap. When I actually thought about it half a pound is really only 2 McDonalds quater pounder cheese burgers...in all honesty I would rather eat them than subject myself to museli, no points vegetable soup and weight watchers bread "only one point a slice none-the-less" (mother, May 2010) -it is only that low in calories because they've sliced it as thin as is humanly possible. Why AM I dieting?

While I'm on the war path. MEN. Why are you hiding from me...well you good ones anyway. I would love nothing more than to get home at night and snuggle up with a guy who just wants to hold me. I'm not one of these girls who go out in search of a bloke for a quick shag...There has been one of those guys that I would meet up with regularly and "do it like they do on the discovery channel" with, but I soon fell for him and ended up looking the fool. So now I'm on the look out for a decent bloke. One that is happy to take things as they come, go with the flow.
Apparently they don't exist. In the words of John Mayer "I'm tired of being alone, so hurry up and get here."

Right you lovely lot, it's time for bed. I've got a sore throat coming and I really dont have time to be ill. Muchos Love. x